CARING ANGEL IN OUR LIFE.

Most doctors understand medicine. Most doctors understand surgeries. Most doctors understand diagnosis. But there are only few doctors like Dr Pushpa Kini who understand the most important of them all - a patients suffering. For me she is no less than God. She is a source of inspiration. She is a caring angel.She is a ray of hope. She is a life savior. She is more than just a human being. This I write from the bottom of my heart.

FEELING EMPTY ON DIWALI DAY

On Diwali there was celebration everywhere specially in our shop. On request of Sushmitha's nurses we lighted diyas, burned crackers, and brought diwali lamps. I was feeling empty inside inspite of having my sister on Diwali. Anil was far away studying in Allahabad and Sushmitha  in bed ridden state But I want the nurses to be happy. so I brought them new clothes, new shoes and golden ornaments. I just want them to be happy. At least I should be happy I have assistance in looking after Sushmitha. I console myself saying atleast I can take care off her well the way I want to.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY CHILD, LOVE YOU ALWAYS

Happy Birthday my child, Be my child in all the janmas, life is not the same anymore. I feel so helpless for not being able to do anything for your condition. Wish there will be a miracle and wish I could take you to eat your favorite masalapoori.I will always remain indebted to Dr Pushpa Kini and my sister Anitha for their support throught. I am also greatfull to my mom and all the nurses and house staffs for taking care of Sushmitha.

SUSHMITHA YOU ARE MY ANGEL AND YOU ARE MINE.

Sushmi you are my angel and you are mine alone, I have been with you since before your birth. I will stand by you as long as I am on this earth. I want you to hold you in my arms and hear you say amma.On june 2Oth you will complete fifteen years and on june 23rd you went to coma four years back.Sometimes I feel so helpless for not being able to do anything for your condition.But I love you.

COMPLETING TWENTY FIVE YEARS OF MARRIAGE

On May 8th we completed twenty five years of togetherness(marriage). Everybody was forcing us to celebrate. There is no meaning to celebrations when your child is in bed ridden. Even my elder brother in law completed fifty years of marriage. We did a small function in their house. There was a small get together. Even people poured us with gifts. It is not the gifts that matter. It is the well wishes and hidden love which really matters.People were forcing me to attend rathosava. I didn't want to go.Because Sushmitha liked going  to Samaradhane(meals) in the temple. How can I go without her.Her awake schedule is also changed now. She remains awake at night. Sometimes I sit till two or two thirty. Sometimes I cannot. We Just change her and then I go back to sleep. By morning if she is awake we will be changing her many times.

PRESERVING HUMAN VALUES

I have seen always people are great in their professions . But concerning preserving human values or when it comes to sharing other peoples problems they are indifferent.But there are people inspite of being good in their professions they have good human values too. I wanted to start a home nursing training. When we approached Dr Kini of Prathibha hospital he was very supportive. He told us not only You can give training here I give the entire hospital for your service.Further he told he will support us by providing patients for nurses.  Even Dr Ramachandra Joishy was very supportive. He is the president of doctors association here. He told he will give his support and also he will talk to other doctors and let us know.Sushmitha's doctor Dr pushpa Kini was very happy. She has always been my emotional pillar and she knows it has been my long waited dream. She gave me tips on the points nurses are to be trained. I am really touched by the support of everybody. This got tears in my eyes. 

TIME PASSES AND YOU BEGIN TO SEE PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY ARE AND NOT FOR WHO THEY PRETEND TO BE

Relationships these days are suferficial.Nobody seems to really care for Sushmitha.It has been three years now and I can see people for who they are and not for who they pretend to be.Every relationship seems fake.I am really disappointed. But there are some angels who have understood me and stood by me.I am going to shop now. and there when there is time I daily go through internet about caring and problems connected with bed ridden patients. I really want to do eveything for her. I am giving her warm water to drink whenever she is made to sit so that her throat is not dry. She is more awake now. One my nurse went home along with her sister and we had a very difficult time. I used to take bath in the evening. Even my driver resigned job. I had the additional work of bringing groceries and vegetables.So during night duty I used to be very sleepy.