CHETHANA MY BREATH MY PASSION

It was a pleasure to be associated with CHETHANA. Now headmistrress of Chethana took away  most of our chilldren. I was in good terms with her. But she duped us.First there was a circular from the government that all children above 25 should not be given admission.There were eight of them. She opened a hostel for some of the children and she sent them to our school. After taking children above 25 to her school she took the children who are coming to our school from her hostel. Then she took all ourchildren nearly 30 to her school. we had already given the names of children for grant. If only she had opened another school without taking our children we would not have minded.Now to handle the situation I resigned and my husband took over the post of president.I HAVE NO REGRETS. When I had the charge I feel I have given myself to Chethana and did my duty unselfishly. I have not betrayed anywhere.

I WANT TO GIVE THE SMILE TO SPECIAL CHILDREN

My husband tells Geetha instead of wearing ornaments you should wear the ornament smile in your face. I know. But it is so difficult for me. When I think of Sushmitha and her condition I cannot smile. I might go to some of the functions but I don't want to mix with anybody.
            But I want to give the special children in Chethana Special school a smile. Last year one person donated dresses. All the children happily went to the stage to get  thier dresses.  Specially a child who cannot talk much came up to me and showed me her dress with a smile on her face. I want bring that smile to every child who is special.

MOM FAILING TO UNDERSTAND ME .

My sisters comes home in the holidays. I love mysister. She has a autistic son which I have already mentioned before. Younger son Insists on taking the medicine and nurse allowed in her presence. Now I heard he takes by himself even when she goes to bring water for medicine. Yesterday the tablets fell and he picked and then gave I heard. All this happens in my absence. When I took this topic with my mother she told me i was watching him. I told her you know nothing about medicine. what name and how much medicine. That too you cannot give 8 year old medicine responsibility. She got angry and then I told my sister about this. She told I will not allow him anymore because someting bad might happen to Sushmitha. Nobody understood my point of veiw. Then I remember two persons who understand me in this world. Dr Pushpa kini and my sister Anitha.

KISIKELIYE MARNA BADA HAI PER KISIKELIYE JINDAGI DENA ISSE BADA HAI

I believe if someone dies for a cause that is great but if someone spends his or her life for somebody it is still great. There are some people who spend their whole lifetime for a cause.

  My sisters son has autism along with hyperactiveness. She has very very difficult time coping with him. He sleeps very less. he wants things in his own way. She is very frusturated. She told me she was living because she cannot die. I admit my child is in coma and at home I have another patient(amma) with me but I have people to help me. I can see she feels very helpless eventhough her husband supports her very much. I want to help her but i can see i cannot do anything.

 when we have sick child at home our every relationship is effected. husband- wife. We cannot give the time we need to other relationships.

      

I WANT TO BE THE BEST DAUGHTER AND BEST MOM

I want to be the best mom and best daughter because at this  point these two relationships need me the most. Being a good mom I cannot manage alone. These physiotherapies, lifting and shifting Sushmitha to give bath and make her stand in order to improve circulation and brushing Sushmitha's teeth nearly three times. I feel personally what a caretaker can gift a patient is good bath which relaxes the patient and also helps to reduce infections. Also giving the standing in order to improve blood circulation. Giving hot (warm) water to drink also helps her to bring out the secretions which are common in bed ridden patients. My favaorite caretaker of Sushmitha Laxmi left the job. She was more than a mother to Sushmitha.  I felt as if a part of me was taken of. But She never understood me or my love for her. But She did her job very nicely and I want to help her in her marriage( part of which I have already done).

I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YOU MOM

Mom has fluid collection in her stomach and legs. I think she is now in fourth stage of liver cirhosis.

   They did tapping 3,4times to remove extra fluid. she was given intravenous albumin injections.I suspect she has spontaneous bacterial pertitontis.She was prescribed antibiotics noroflox and my cousin told me doctor told it cannot be discontinued. Doctor also told mothers condition was complicated and urine tube was blocked. so she has only 3 months. But mom is very strong and doctor told he has not seen a woman like this. she was very brave and She is in lot of pain now but not at all complaining. I want her to live longer but she was telling the doctor whatever you can do it is ok. Other wise if  you tell me to go else where I will not. But Anitha was telling that mom has no picture of her present condition so we should decide what is good for her. Now again there is question as to whether she should live longer ( with all these tapping and stunting) or whether we should not make her suffer more. That means making her suffer less and doing whatever we can. She was telling that she does not want liver transplant because if it is not successfull then she will die.

             I realise that nobody can love you like your mother. her love is unconditional. She shouts. She yells. But she loves. Not even your husband loves you so much.

MOTHERS HEALTH CONDITION GETTING WORSE

Mom is a very strong woman. Even liver cirhosis seemed not to be effecting her. She was cooking, going out doing my bank jobs and other works. I was concentrating on Sushmitha alone. Now she seems to have fluid accumlation in the leg and stomach(ascites). She was given direutics daily. She seemed to get better so they lessened the tablets. Again now there is more accumlation and she is sleeping all day. She has stopped taking eggs which is very important for hr liver problem. She has lost apetite and taste. She forgets things now. I don't know what to do. She used to shout and get mad at people still she was a strong rock like support to me. I feel so helpless not being able to anything. I am seeing to her diet so that she has all the foods she should eat. She is restricted from all the salty foods and only limited amount of water to drink.