Sushmitha

Monday, June 22, 2020

LIFE WTHOUT SUSHMITHA

It is very difficult to live wthout Sushmitha. Sending her away was not easy. My whole day revolved round her. She was taken well care of. But still her pain we cannot take. I can't bring her back. I will live in her memories. I think she felt she cannot bear it anymore. I was busy my child. But to look after you we needed money and your Papa found it difficult to manage alone my child.everything happened so suddenly. I did everything I can. She is painfree now. Eleven years in bedridden state is not easy.. All the people give condolences. But I know they soon forget. Sometimes she smiled and that smile gave me the strength to go forward.
You were too beautifull for earth.
I realise nothing will be the same ever again.

Saturday, June 20, 2020

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY ANGEL IN HEAVEN. YOU WERE BORN ONLY TO BE MY DAUGHTER. YOU ARE SOMEONE I CANT LIVE WITHOUT

Happy Birthday to" My world My CHUCHI".My Angel Daughter in Heaven. Wish I had some more time with yo u to hold your hand and see your face. God saw you getting tired and Cure was not to be. So he put his arms around you and whispered "COME TO ME".Although I loved you dearly I Could not make you stay. I watched helplessly as your golden heart stopped beating.
Dear God, I place my beautiful daughter in your strong hands. Please keep her safe and pain-free.
Love is a bond that death cannot part. Memories you left behind will live in my heart forever. The Grief of losing you will last as long as love does. Sending you was not easy my child. I want you to be my daughter in all JANMAS. You were born only to be MY DAUGHTER. You are someone I can't live without. I am thankful for the memories you left behind. These Memories brighten road of my grief. I Thank all the people who were with me specially Dr Pushpa Kini and my sister Anitha. They have been my pillar of strength. Love You and Lots of hugs.............. ...............MY Child.

Thursday, June 4, 2020

MEMORIES DURING ANITHAS VISIT

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CHANDHI GONDI

TALKING WITH APACCHI

Thursday, May 28, 2020

MY ANGEL DAUGHTER LEFT ME

SUSHMITHA WAS SLEEPING ONLY FOR 3 CONTINUOUS DAYS . SHE MAKES SOME KIND OD SOUND WHEN SHE IS IN DIFFICULTY. I KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG.ON MAY 25TH SHE HAD SOME BREATHING DIFFICULTY AT 10.30 NIGHT. IT BECAME WORSE. SUDDENLY SHE WAS OK AT 11.40 . I WENT TO WASH ROOM . WE CHANGED
SIDES. THEN SUDDENLY SHE TOOK A DEEP BREATH. THEN SHE BROUGHT HER TONGUE OUT AND ROLLED HER EYEBALLS UP. THAT WAS LAST.YOU ARE MY WORLD BABY.THEN I CALLED MY HUSBAND AND WE CONTACTED HER NURSE WHO PUTS RICETUBE, SHE CAME AND TOLD US EVERYTHING WAS OVER.
MAY BE SHE COULD SUFFER NO LONGER. HER STRENGHTH WAS JUST WEAK. SHE HAD DIFFICULTY IN SLEEPING.
SENDING HER AWAY WAS THE MOST WORST PART, LOT OF PEOPLE CAME IN. SOME PEOPLE WERE AFRAID BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT SHE DIED BECAUSE OF CORONA. I CAN'T BRING YOU BACK MY GIRL. BUT YOU ARE MY SOUL.
YOU ARE PAINFREE NOW. SHE WAS PUT TO FIRE IN OUR ANCESTRAL PROPERTY EVENTHOUGH MANY PEOPLE WERE AGAINST IT.(THINKING SHE DIED OF CORONA).
SHE HAS BIRTHDAY NEXT MONTH. IF SHE WAS NORMAL SHE WOULD BE VERY BEAUTIFULL.

Thursday, May 14, 2020

FACING REALITY AND SITUATIONS THAT GO AGAINST

I thought I will die for my husband and live for him only. But when you are genuine and sometimes he criticises you publicly you feel hurt. I love to go out and he restricts . According to him I cannot go to Manipal or Mangalore. My mom raised me well and we lived the way we wanted. At home the nurses and staff are angry for no reason. There is no happy atmosphere. Sushmitha can feel the negative energy. I have lot of house keeping staff at home. Because Sushmitha has feeding till 12 AM. So they take shifts and two people every day once in three days equals to six people. Sometimes she is awake at night so I need help again and there also I need shifts. It is not easy to look after bedridden
I feel broken down when my husband lets me down. Mentally it breaks you. Relationship will not survive nor me. I cannot change him for sure. I have to let it go.But that is not easy. He is angry and remains angry. IF THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO THEN ACCEPT THINGS AS THEY ARE AND LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT. I MISS YOU AMMA.I NEED YOUR STRENGTH.