LOOSE MOTION AND SORE BUMS

Sushmitha had severe loose motion. She passed watery stools almost 10 times a day. As a result her bum became very sore and reddish. We applied siloderma but still it worsened. Dr pushpa Kini put her on antibiotics sepmax. She passed urine so mom suggested till urination is there I need not worry. Sometimes I get very much worried for Sushmitha and the minute I open up with Dr Pushpa Kini she gives me correct solution to my problem. Same is the case with Anitha. They both understand me very well. I cannot do the stimulations. I bought a new mobile and it has memory card in it. I wish in Sushmitha's brain also if it was possible to bring her memories back by putting memory card. I sometimes get worried thinking what other difficulties future has in store for me. I know mom supports me by being in my house even though she is reluctant to personally supervise Sush. I don't know what i will do without her. Sushmitha is becoming older and the nurses who come to treat her feel it difficult to lift her.

SLEEPING EXCESSIVELY

Sushmitha is sleeping excessively these days. I am not able to give the stimulations. I feel very helpless. So photoseeing and giving commands I am not able to do from past three days. Upon that mummy keeps nagging servants for no reason at all. If only she had given me support. Nobody is happy at home. Servants threaten they leave the job. Mummy will not understand. She likes some people and supports them even if they are wrong. She doesn't like some people and she does not like anything they do. Our house keeper laxmi is very good in lifting the child and leaves aside her work to help Sushmitha but mummy does not like her. Atleast she can adjust for Sushmitha.

SUSHMITHA FALLS FROM CANE CHAIR

Physiotherapyst Pranay made her sit in the cane chair and while swinging round and round (for vestibular stimulation) the rope got cut and Sushmitha fell straight to the ground along with cane chair. Luckily nothing happened . Here mom nags much these days. So servant Laxmi wants to go home. Actually she is very good in house work and if i call her she will come immediately to help sushmitha. She is good in lifting sushmitha and good in physiotherapy also. I told mom I see one bucket which is half filled with water and while I see it half full she sees it half empty. Now if she goes on finding fault nobody is perfect. One minute she starts nagging and next minute she will be nicely talking but she will be talking so rudely i don't want to connect. I fee; very difficult to concentrate on sushitha at this stage

IMPROVING ON HEAD CONTROL

Today Physiogtherapist Pranav Jindal put her on on swiss ball and she held her head very well. I am very happy. I hope we can maintain the head control. But I am worried because suddenly her body looks warm sometimes. But when checked there is no fever. Kavitha my younger sister has come home for holidays. I was having difficulty in loving other children. But he keeps calling me Mavae, see this do this, I cannot stop myself.

IMPROVES IN SWALLOWING

She almost takes one feed by mouth now. That is 160ml.Today she nicely bit sugarcane and made sipping sound-sound we make when we drink juice. Sometimes she drinks cofee making sound. She brings tongue out to get its taste.
But sleep wake cycles are disturbing her sleep. She sleeps mostly in day time and remains awke at night. Sometimes she gets cough and she takes her head up but cannot bring it back. I feel sorry for her then. but she is noticing small events now. She notices when prosoyal is bring put. She is disturbed if we are giving command and somewhere else she hears a conversation. She even saw my husband when he sat on sofa seeing photos. But suddenly on 13nth may she developed fever and her respiratory rate was high. I was worried and we immediately took her to Manipal. There our doctor Dr Pushpa Kini checked sushmitha and told us not to panic and everything will be allright. she put her on antibiotics Ceptum for seven days. Nows her assurance has given me the strength to go back home because I know in case of emergency I can always go there.

NEW PHYSIOTHERAPYST pRANAV JINDAL TELLS ME TO FOCUS ON STIMULATIONS WHICH SHE GIVES RESPONSE

Pranav Jindal new physiotherapyst tells me to focus on stimulations which I think can bring a response from Sushmitha. I tell him she looks at food items like jam when it is brought. He tells such stimulations should be increased. She is more aware of sounds and sound now. She looks at me in a peculiar way. If two people are holding a conversation she is more aware now.She looks at people more.

Mom Is Angry

Now nurse Mallika has left. The nurse who has come has trouble doing the standing and lifting. So I call the house-keeping staff Laxmi for assistance. But this makes mom angry. Laxmi is afraid because it makes mom angry. I asked mom that since for standing we need help can watering the garden can be done at 3 o"clock but she tells me they dry if it is left so soon so she will water herself. and then she told Laxmi not to water the plants anymore because she is going to do herself. I cannot do these things alone and if I call them it makes mom angry. If I give feed by mouth that makes her angry too. Mummy does not like me trying for my child. Anitha tells while I want to try everhything for my child mom thinks otherwise. She thinks I am simply troubling her. Now physiotherapist Watson sir is not coming and in his place Pranav Jindal is coming. My friend Malini told he is very good and cured many patients and his speciality is rural rehabilitation. He stated using muscle stimulator for mobility. He tells he can undrestand my concern for Sushmitha but if we constantly hold Sushmitha's head she will not get neck control. He told me to order Tilt table for standing. Sushmitha has this coughing sensation all the time and now she has sound with the coughing sensation. I want to concentrate on Sushmitha but ther is no happy atmosphere in the house. I constantly remind myself of a mobile message send by my cousin " A strong woman is one who inspite of all the difficulties still tells I am okay". I look at my child and say I wiil bear anything for you. You are mine and I will never let you go. The thought that you can recognise as a mother is enough for me to spend my lifetime. Sometimes I am afraid of tomorrow. My husband is facing lot of tensions in his business. One of his worker fell from the roof when we took contract of some construction work. He was not wearing the safetybelt. Now is struggling between life and death. He has a deceased child. My husband tells that makes him morally weak.