I WANT TO BE WITH YOU EVERY HOUR EVERY MINUTE EVERY SECOND

I have stopped going to functions. But there is one thing whicxh is very near to my heart apart from Sushmitha. That is going to Chethana Special School- which is a school for the handicapped children. I Feel very relaxed after coming back from there. Today there was a meeting. After coming back from there Laxmi (nurse) brought Sushmitha's feed and she wasw serarching for a stool. So I told her till she brings the stool I will hold the feed. When I touched the feed it was very hot. She told me only the vessel is hot but the feed is not. I told her it very hot and it is not the vessel but also the feed. Even the rice tube can melt and surely when the feed passes the tube Sushmitha will have lot of discomfort. She told me it was Ratna who has prepare. I didn't make a issue because mom whould have shouted at Ratna and there was already clash between the tube. But I don' t how many such circumstances Sushmitha has to face. That is why I go running and try to come back soon. Atleast I wish mom could take interest in Sushmitha in my absence. Even she is deteriorating in commands an photoseeing. I WILL FIGHT FOR YOU sUSHMITHA EVEN WITH GOD. She remains awake at night. She gets cough while swallowing. today I felt she has a difficulty over swallowing. But one relief is she bites sugarcane nicely and she brings her tongue out for lollipop. She loved eating.

ANITHA TELLS THINK NOT LIKE A MOTHER BUT AS A HUMANBEING

Yesterday I was speaking to my sister Anitha about Sushmitha. And She told me always she tries to think about Sushmitha in all angles. She tells me just Geethakka imagine yourself in that situation. Don't think like a mother but as a humanbeing caught in that situation. It is so frustrating and so very difficult. Not being able to express what you feel. I tell her sometimes she does the photoseeing so well. It makes me think surely she can recognise some persons. Anitha tells humanbrain is something which nobody has understood so far. When I put forward this view even Dr Pushpa Kini agreed with us. She tells sadly there is no instrument to measure how much a person can percieve. sometimes they can percieve some things but they cannot express. Anitha tells there is nothing I can do now. No choice. I CAN JUST SEE THAT SHE IS TAKEN WELL CARE OFF.

DIFFICULTY IN PUTTING RICE TUBE

There was difficulty in putting the rice tube. She bled from the nose and I don't know where she was hurt. It seems there is no end to her misery and pain. Karkala Venkataramana please why are doing this? This is not fair.

GOOD RESPONSE TO MUSIC AND DIFFICULTY IN SEEING RIGHT AND NOT RESPONDING TO COMMANDS SUDDENLY AND RETURN OF OLD NURSE FOR 4 MONTHS

I am happy. I can atleast relax a bit for months. Otherwise my schedule was so tight that If I have to go out for some reason I had to rearrange my schedule and hurry up everything. I start the day with swallowing then commands then photoseeing then mirror then showing visual toyhen do the standing in tilting table then giving nubilisation then giving passive movements then give the streches. By then it will be noon. Then taking lunch and taking bath and allowing the nurse to do the same. Then making her sit out and giving stimulations so that she notices whatever we do. We call from up, from the window, we give her music( which she gives very good response),She notices people going in the road( in old house), she notices vehicles going, notices what is kept in stool(food). Now her left two teeths have been removed by dentist so biting is difficult from left side. Suddenly whenever she coughed she used to do pass little bit of motion. I became worried. Doctor Pushpa Kini prescibed Tablet Entogermina for four days. Now she is much better. And now she is more awake. Today she was awake from eight morning to seven evening. She is improving on awareness of surroundings but declining in obeying commands. She sometimes looks at food on the stool. Anil's engagement is fixed on december 22nd. And since Mallika has come back I think I will concentrate on that a bit. Sushmitha is my top priority but I cannot neglect my son either. I hope atleast he will be happy in his life. For that now he need to concentrate on his education an not on marriage.

YOU HAVE FOUGHT FOR YOUR LIFE TO BE WITH ME AND I WANT TO JUSTIFY IT BY BEING WITH YOU ALL MY LIFE

I never knew being a mother is so wonderfull. She has been to hospital and come back. She looks alert. I feel so happy. She laughed at me today. For the last 2 months she had lot of choriformas movements. she surely had lot of discomfort. When I approached Dr Pushpa Kini she first tested her for urine infection and she had it. She prescribed antibiotic sepmax for ten days. Still the movements didn't stop and Dr Pushpa Kini told me she wants to start medicine serenace. But Sushmitha should be hospitalised since the medicine epival ( for fits) and serenace(for choriform movements) are not friendly. It might increase fits so she want to observe for three days. We admitted Sushmitha on 14nth and tablet serenace was started. And I think the change or the medicine did much good to her. She was awake and alert in hospital. I think the change in atmosphere is what did good to her. She was sleeping in side and she started noticing our movements. Girija our nurse was making papaya juice. First she cut it and later put in mixer. She was noticing everything. and coming back home I saw her to be more a wake and morew alert. Today when my husbads friend Gopalkrishna gave command amma nodu she correctly turned to look at me. This she did for two or three times.

SUSHMITHA HAS A LOT OF COUGH REFLEX(UNWANTED MOVEMENTS)

Sushmitha has lot of cough reflex(piriformas movements). She looks like she is in lot of discomfort. I am not able to do anything to lessen her discomfort. Before in sidelying she used to feel better. But now it doesn't seem like that. She is unable to do the swallowing nor can she concentrate on commands. r I took her to Dr Pushpa Kini. First when I reached Manipal Dr Prashanth, Dr Yogish, Dr Raghuvanshi, Dr kashyap examined Sushmitha and informed Dr Pushpa Kini about Sushmitha's condition. She came immediately examined Sushmitha and told me there is nothing to worry and it looks like it is some form of piriformas movements. She told me that since Sushmitha's weight has also increased She will increase levera morning dose from one tablet to two. It will take care of unwanted movements she told. But she told me to get her shunting checked once. Not that she fears anything is wrong. But it has been one and half years( after shunting) so better get checked once. Immediately I called Dr Muralidhar Pai and I got a appointment on !3nth august(friday) in the afternoon.We took her in car eventhough it takes more tha one hour. He came and examined her and assured me there was no problem in shunting at all. Then he saw Sushmitha in discomfort and i told him this is the only problem I have now.He told me that he wants nurologist to examine Sushmitha and then neurologist Dr Shivanand Shenoy and Dr Rakshith ( Who have already seen Sushmitha in Manipal). They told Sushmitha has Piriformas movements which are because of brain damage. They prescribed tablet serenace. They told me to take half tablet twice daily and report to them after fcifteen days,