Sushmitha hospitalised so again that hindered her improvement

Sushmitha had stiffness in left leg. So physiotherapyst Dimple gave extra steching. She developed swelling in vboth legs. So she was given ice pack treatment. This led to severe cold and this again led to fever. She had rapid breathing. So I panicked and phoned my doctor she told me to come immediately. When I thought she was improving I never expected this. Again it will take another week for her to recover. She was much awake in the hospital. So in the discharge summary they wrote she is more awake now which she is. I saw her turning neck and seeing but that is also restricted to one side she turns mostly to left.

Shows tongue.

Today I felt she was showing her tongue after i said zeeb dakayi(show your tongue). I felt happy.But mom said what is the use if she just shows tongue, if she can say amma then atleast ok. I told mom that also she will do. let her do this first.today she has much cough. She has tightness in the legs. So Dimple gave extra stretching. Both the legs developed swelling. Then they gave ice rub to reduce swelling. Now she has cold. Hope it will not increase and cause fever.

Please anyone save my child

Now physiotherapists are giving severe physiotherapy. They are making her sit by holding her hands and bringing them forward. Putting her upside down. with her head down and the lifting her. It looks very scaring to me. God save my child.

Pleae call me Amma which i long to hear

Sushmitha is improving physically. She is gaining neck control.She looks at people now. I dont know if she will call me amma again. Few days back I had gone to Udupi and her face kept coming in front of me. I am just happy she is alive and I will care for her as long as she lives.But I dont know whether being alive is torture for her. I dont know how she feels. I am trying in everyway to make her sit and eat by giving a bit of swallowing but i dont know whether she wants all that. Anitha tells she may not want to sit and talk or she just can be very much tired or she just cannot do all these.But I just want you to call me amma my dear. I want to hold you in my arms once again.

I WANT TO DESTROY THE WHOLE WORLD

God you didn't give me a normal child. Did I complain you ever? Then why did you make her go through so much pain.I hate other children. I dont believe in you anymore.Now I know who cares for me really. Sushmitha used to adore her father. he seems to have no time for her. He is busy in pooja's and he tells it is done for her sake only.Anil seems emotional but he is also busy. My mom also didn't want Sushmitha. But there I was wrong. I went to Mangalore today . I went at 2PM .and came back within 5pm. Now physio Shruthi comes for physio. She gives hot and cold water for stimulation. She makes her sit unaided. With minimal support to head and shoulders so that she aquires shoulder control. She has a bit of swaloowing. So she gives sugar water for taste.Anitha feels this all is going very far in the sense this all is too much for her. so Anitha tells I am selfish so I want her to get well for my sake. But it may not be the same with her. May be she does not want to talk or walk. She might be too tired.So anitha tells her now what is more important is her comfort. Yeah I admit I am selfish. I waznt her. But I want her comfort too. help me maintain balance of both.

FOR THE WORLD YOU MAY BE SOMEONE BUT FOR ME YOU ARE THE WORLD.

DOES SHE HAVE LANGUAGE COMPREHENSION?

I had 2 nurses to look after Sushmitha. Now both are leaving the job permanently. My brother in laws son got married. Sushmitha would have enjoyed the family function. She likes being in stage.How she liked the dancing onschoolday. I sometimes feel she can understand somethings. Like when Anitha told to look at your mom she she shifted her gaze towards me.We were in hospital on 6th. So when i asked we will go home she said ha. when coming back from ambulance I asked her should I hold you tightly she nodded her up and down as if she wants to say yes. Today mom told her i want u and nobody else she again told ha.